1/17/18, had to be one of those days. For those who don't know, I have two jobs, one of them is working with (primarily) paranoid schizophrenics. Now one of my patients is a white male, about 55 (I believe) who ranks somewhere along the autism spectrum. He's been on the unit where I work for more than a year; I've been there almost a year.
Usually, this patient is very non-sensical, he makes statements out the blue, and has a very gruff tone, even when he means well. One of his quotes from the other night was something along the lines of, "Elton John was 13, but now he's negative 3 because his music is yellow." Any person who works in the mental health field knows that patients have triggers, and this patient is no different. His trigger is pop, or soda, which he affectionally calls soda water.
Now at the time where my night went wrong was snack time. I was behind the large desk, enclosed with a gate, serving snack to all the patients. I had served the majority of the snacks, and this particular patient usually gets his last helping of soda water at this time. An important note is that this patient is on a fluid restriction for medical reasons. So I ask to see the book which has a record of the amount of fluid he's taken. He becomes pressure, and frustrated because he wants his soda water, and he wants it now.
In the process of trying to see what his total intake was, he becomes argumentative and start yelling. He looks up at me from the paper, very intent and angry, then growls, "Give me my fuckin' soda water, it's mine, give it to me now." He also foams a bit at the mouth. At that point, I'm not scared or nervous, because I've seen this behavior and reaction before. I do what we (as mental health workers at this particular hospital) do, and tell him I'm calling safety. This enrages him even more, as I turn my back to call safety. Now by this point there are two staff members around him, and while my back is turned to him, he yells out, "Fuck you, nigger boy!"
I'm frustrated, I heard it, believed it, and couldn't come up with a solid enough reason to confront or correct this literally crazy, triggered, autistic, in the moment racist son of a bitch.
The staff corralled him and moved him down the hall. However he kept yelling the phrase down the hall. Mind you, we have other Black patients. There wasn't a riot or confrontation, the patient was punished, he had his status removed, and was placed on an 'assault watch', even though the confrontation never came close to him assaulting anyone. However, I'm still left feeling unsatisfied about this situation.
Here's my rub
1. He's not right in the head. But he's just right enough to say some foul and fucked up shit at just the right time
2. Racist exist, our president is one. And our patient has family who probably voted, if not have the same beliefs as our so called president
3. Autistic or crazy, if you're in a mental hospital, you are vulnerable and easily taken advantage of. His family has taken advantage of him, and given him wrong values. And he's autistic to say the least. Is that on him, his family or society?
4. I could have confronted him and talked to him, but would he really have gotten it. I mean this is the person who made the statement about Elton John being 13, but now was -3 because his music was yellow. I mean c'mon, put yourself in those shoes
So that's my spiel. That's my shit ass night. I'm gonna hit publish, finish my crown and ginger ale, kiss my little baby, and curl up with my lady.
I may promote this post, or I may just see what it does. But there is one thing that won't change.
Crazy ain't gonna stop being crazy. And I ain't gonna let this bs keep me from keepin' this job to pay the bills....at least for now.
Appreciate the processin
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