A New Day!

So today, I played a bit of saxophone to the dismay of my neighbor, and did the music and poetry thing.  Not so much new poetry, but cataloging, listening, and editing.  It amazes me how much I used to edit my written word, and now it’s like I never do it.  It was crazy because I found a loose page of it written out, but I didn’t find it in any of the notebooks that I’ve been using, (almost scary!) However, I got some inspiration, or maybe it was boredom, and picked up Mona J, and hit some blues rifts.  It was pretty freeing, but my mind stayed pretty connected of the goal I had silently set up yesterday, after my errands and writing. 

The goal was to find a used book-store, go to it and find essays written by Emerson.  Since I quit GBMS I cannot find the copy I had of his essays, which is a huge bummer because it was a free copy, and who doesn’t love free??  I am in the process of writing essays in hopes of—no not in hopes of—in the process of writing essays for the book that I will publish soon, (I’m thinking early 2015)  I have some poetry for it, that will fit pretty good I believe, the only problems are re-finding my writing voice, hence, leading me here to my favorite Doodle with my Poodle blog.

Essays are apparently in very low demand.  I did find an ok used book-store, its called 2BuckBooks (www.twobuckbooks.com), for anyone in the Denver area, it’s on Monaco.  It wasn’t the greatest used bookstore, they had a miniscule philosophy section, but I was able to find a couple of good reads, not the book I was looking for, but some good reads nonetheless.  I was able to find a good thesaurus (yes I know who needs a paperback thesaurus in the digital age L) The Te of Piglet, Four Essays on Life and Letter by Matthew Arnold, and the coupe de grace The Speeches of Malcolm X at Harvard.  So it wasn’t a total waste, plus, I spent less than ten bucks!  However, I was focused on getting the Emerson book, so I broke down and went to Barnes and Noble around the corner of my house.  I was able to find it, and a book of the 2012 edition of The Best American Essays.  I wanted this one because I want to get a feel for what publishers are looking for, heck I may be doing more essays for lit mags and what-not, so it’s best to get a feel for what constitutes as publishable.

The question remains—why?  It has always been a goal of mine to become a writer.  Now, with my current situation of being able to work part-time (while being economically stable), and having time to do it, I’m going to do it.  I’ve been writing like a madman the last couple of days, and with my trusty MacBook JI am a strong believer in myself.  I was able to get published this year, which is wonderful, but I want that to continue.  Therefore, I am reading more, hence the trip to the bookstore, and have set time aside to do nothing but write.  Most writers say, even if what you write sucks, keep doing it.  So I’ve got my journals, which I’ve kept up for about a year, so that’s where a lot of bad writing will be going.  I’m also debating about doing a youtube video.  If you’ve never seen my youtubes, you can check them out, I got a whole page and everything…lol (http://www.youtube.com/user/nabraskapoet)

I believe that’s going to be it for now.  The job may have ended, but new doodles will be new writings, new postings, new music (https://soundcloud.com/poet402) and if all goes truly well, somewhere in 2015 a poetic feature, or band.  I’m still a bit scatter brained, but I’m focused on getting this writing career off the floor…you may resuscitate your poet….Now!!

Oh The Last of Days….

So it's official, my last day with GBMS will be next Monday, December 1st, 2014.  So here is the down-low, it's a bit wordy but what-evs.  On Friday November 14th, I was summoned to the principal's office at the end of the day.  It felt a bit weird like they were going to fire me, but I'm a man, I can handle it.  So they had me wait like ten to twenty minutes before they got their files all straight, then called me in.  

The Griffin BS way of life seal (lol)

It was the principal Alex, and his minion Ms. Saab.  He began by asking me if there was anything I needed to tell him, like anything involving law enforcement.  I thought it was a bit strange, but was pretty done, so I was like yea, I got a DUI over the summer.  I told Alex, that I had already talked to Gilbert (my lead teacher/immediate supervisor).  Alex then stuttered (as he usually does)  and said I should of told him, then stated through stutters that I have should of informed Gilbert.  I then interjected that I did, Alex then said that that was ok.  I was feeling like ok, whatever.

So then he asks me about being late, I began thinking ok, now here we go, get the pen ready, let's get ready to leave this bitch.  He goes into his little diatribe about how me being late has put "stress on the system".  This is when I gave him the look of WTF??  So this is how it breaks down, there are four paras assigned to the room I'm in along with a lead teacher, so that makes five total adults.  We have at most 10 children in the morning, which equates to two children per adult.  Now if I'm not there it would equate to about 2.5 kids per adult.  Class sizes at this school goes roughly from about 22-30 kids in a classroom with one teacher in the room. HOW IN THE HELL DOES ME BEING LATE PUT "A STRESS ON THE SYSTEM???"  So I was baffled, but I was good, I didn't respond past crazy facial expressions.  So I was like ok, I've been late, however, I did let Alex know that I had spoke with Gilbert about my tardies, and offered several options.  Alex asked about the options I had proposed.  

I let Alex know that I had told Gilbert that I was one: willing to go part time, two: willing to cut Tuesdays out of my schedule because that was the day I was late the most, and three: I would stay and do detention duty from 4-5 to make up the time.  He rejected all of those options.

In turn what ended up happening was I was written up and had that placed in my "permanent  file" with DPS.  I knew before the meeting what my response would be.  I was done, that Friday when I got home, I wrote my letter of resignation.  It is down below for all your viewing pleasure

November 17, 2014

Clarence Barbee

10756 E. Virginia Ave

Aurora, CO 80012

Administrative Staff

Grant Beacon Middle School

1751 S Washington St, Denver, CO 80210

Dear Administrative Staff,

It is with regret that I am giving you notice of resignation for my position with Grant Beacon Middle School, an entity of Denver Public Schools.  It is my opinion that the administration has created an atmosphere that lacks support toward paraprofessionals, other support staff, and teachers while supporting a condescending environment. 

As a paraprofessional for the last year and a half in the Affective Needs classroom, I have worked tirelessly with the teachers, paraprofessionals, and other support staff in the building, so the students in our program would have the educational care they needed.

My lead teacher Mr. Gilbert has shown superior leadership in creating a team of paraprofessionals, each who brings a different skill-set of support to the AN classroom, and the school.  The students in the AN classroom are continuously moving forward toward excellence because of the efforts and successes of the AN team. 

Due to having additional employment, my record of attendance has suffered.  I brought plans of compromise to my teacher as well as the principal to alleviate the stress of my attendance.  The principal, leaving me with no other choice than to leave this school, has rejected these compromises.

I wish Mr. Gilbert, Ms. Carmen, Mr. David, Ms. Mindy, and the AN students the best year possible.  I am confident they will have a great year.  My last day will be Monday, December 1, 2014.

In earnest,

Clarence B Barbee

 The things I stated in the letter are true and factual.  It was unfortunate that a compromise could not be made as Grant is a good school, but the administrating staff are condescending at best.  Besides micro-managing my time, they have micro-managed placement on the playground, and constantly calling me by my first name when they give the respect to teachers of calling them Mr. or Mrs., so I'm good.  Last week was rough and I ended up missing two days due to my car needing repairs, but I guess it's all good.  There will be no more doodles, as this year we had kiddos going to regular ed classes, and I really just wasn't feeling it.  

So Monday will be my last day, and this will be the last image they get of me….lmao

I tried to get one of my back, but it didn't work out, so this will be what they get.  Deuces to GBMS, it was good while it lasted, but I'm off to other things--good luck AN room!!  

However, I will be keeping and updating the blog, because I still work with youth, I'm still active in affectively changing lives for the better, and I'm still doing the damn thang!!  Thats it for now peeps, see you soon in the funnies!!

Dear Twitter....

It is 10:54am, and I am considering getting up from this chair, gathering my stuff, and walking out of this school.  These so called boys are working my last nerve, I got an email about coming in early to talk about payroll (meaning they're probably gonna be bitchin' about me coming in late), and I'm tired of the word nigga.  

So in an attempt to squash these feelings of sanity about leaving, 
I've gone to twitter to tweet about happenings of my day. I usually tweet the happenings in a phrase "Dear___"  So check out the tweets, and if you're already following me, just know that I am a paraprofessional in a classroom with behavioral disorder boys, and I tweet in the mornings and afternoons from my school in relation to my day.  So yea, that's that.

Another thing that I've done was doodle down some sayings, phrases, and thoughts about the day through a day's time....so here are some of them...

"Be a smart ass,

        waste all the time you need—

I guarantee,

        you won’t be getting paid

       by the hour long;

An unemployment line awaits."

"Be confident in yourself

     parents & teachers

     will not always be there

     for reassurance."

"If you spent half as much time

on your studies,

as you do clownin’ &

     wastin’ time,

you would have already completed

     this year’s work"

"Stop trying to help us,

      and help yourself;

you have work to do

Get to it!!”

“Sometimes, you can

       lean back,

and look at a child (like a mother would)

and they will respond in a positive manor

      and get back on task”



It is now 1:49pm, we had a fight shortly before lunch, with three students, one student has gone home; I've missed lunch duty completely, and I am now finishing up this post.  I hope you've enjoyed reading the thoughts and quotes above.  I hope your day is going better than mine.  It's 1:52pm, and I have to get to math, 2nd to last class of the day.  BRB

The Wednesday That Blew Chunks

Good Afternoon All!!! (11:08am 10-8-14)

I'm back for another exciting edition of doodle with my poodle via GBMS.  So I'm still doing the para thing with this middle school, and still working with AN (affected needs) kiddos.  And still feeling like my presence is not really needed here

In any case, this morning has definitely been one for the books.  They just started off right at breakfast in the room.  We had one little whitish-hispanic child curse out the teacher and call him a "bitch ass nigga!!"  Since I'm black, my teacher is white, and the kid is a whitish-hispanic kinda child, I took a bunch of offense to this statement, but whatever--white is white, kids are kids, the world doesn't get it, let it go.

So I was pretty much on 20 (as my EYC peeps would say) and already ready for this day The teacher is yelling at this kid, our kids are super off task, and to top things off, the psychologist/social-worker lady (whatever) has the sister of this kiddo I had at my treatment center.  I could just tell, these bitches (administrators/physiologist/social worker) just don't want to deal with kids today.  See, whenever they have "problem" children, they usually just stick them in our room.  Many times, that's ok, but when they are loading us up with them, it just becomes a zoo.  

A zoo is what we were this morning.  The kiddos were suppose to be finishing up a letter they had begun yesterday.  However due to all the extra stimulants (extra kiddos), our room was a mess.  It felt like I had questions from children coming at me during every second of the morning.  And I knew the kids were feeding off each other; one would get up, and then another, and then another would ask a question!  I have dealt with some very needy children, but seriously, these children were needy like treatment center girls around hygiene time.

At this point, I'm going to stop, because I don't feel it's being productive.  I feel like I need to listen to Rudy Francisco's poem "Complainers"--"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full, there's water it in, just drink it and stop complainin'!!


12:47--Lunch--Principal having a parent meeting in the staff lunch/break room...not complaining, however I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL 3:59PM!!!!!

SEP-TIM-BEERRRRR!

Holy Toledo Batman, it's already September 3rd!!!!  Well needless to say, this is the first blog of the new school year!!!---Hip hip....Hoooraayyy!! Right, right??  

Well the year has started off pretty good and pretty smooth.  Due to the fact of having a second job, I was only at the school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  So that was ok, and all, but I really would had preferred to be at GBMS!!  Upon the meetings and "so how was your summer?" we learned we would only have like four kids.  So it was told to us, that those four would be going out to classes and such.  Therefore we (as paras) would be going and supporting classes and what-not.  And that sounded all well and good; my only concern was when I was told there would be a possibility that I would have to "fill-in" when necessary.  Granted, I don't have an issue with that, but I would like to receive sub-pay if that situation occurs.  Eh...it is what it is.  So there is a doodle, I believe, somewhere in one of the three notebooks, I've been using, however there won't be one right now. 

Right now, there is poetry.  I started writing this poem earlier this week, and I think I finished it today...if its good with you great, if not, I'll still be fine-tuning it, so stick around, it may get better. 

A Few Days....

When your walls ain't 

bare, 

and all four pockets contain a bit more

than lint, 

listen to that calling.

It's more than the clothes,

& toys, & gadgets, & gifts;

have you found peace, have you 

found happiness?

Is it hounding you 

hanging from brand new hooks,

freshly purchased from your 

amazon wish list?

Last time I checked,

amazon doesn't sell joy.

I google things; 

cars, clothes, people, and a bit of bling (from time to time)

and many often times beauty.

But the results for beauty 

are never what I want.

My beauty is rarely found

in the faces of so-called super-models.

Naomi Cambell can take a back-seat to 

super-novas,

and Heidi Klum can hardly compare 

to new buds on a freshly potted

potato plant

Pause--

Don't drown, swim hard; 

Believe.

Some epithets and sayings 

can be words of wisdom;

a lowered hand can be a helping hand,

helping you up, saving your soul.

For life can be a 

succubus of issues

crashing your karma

till nothing is left 

but drift wood in rivers

with 3 eyed catfish

void of whiskers-you 

you still have wishes. 

Hope is out there somewhere
Just don't seek it out on  
Amazon, or Google--
You might want to get real analog,
step out your door,
and physically ask your neighbor...
Hi, my name is Poet402,
do you mind if I ask you something
Hope you guys liked it.  

If you guys wanna hear it, check out my soundcloud....